THE TROUPE
MAYA GARDNER
est. 2021
Maya Gardner is your totally normal college kid! Nothing weird about her! She is not a part of the Witness Protection Program! She definitely doesn’t have ties to prolific mafia groups that were NOT involved in the disappearance of your great grandfather! She is not several lizards in a skin suit! None of these things are true! Please stop saying them about her!
XAVIER VALDEZ
est. 2021
Xavier Valdez is, in fact, a boy who can do both. He's not quite sure what "both" are, but he assures you he CAN do them, and will do them at a level of quality you find at least mildly adequate.
ASHER WOLF
est. 2021
Is investing his tuition money into DogeCoin
ALEX NIMROD
est. 2021
Alex’s favorite after school hobby? Building a better community. Alex’s favorite snack? The fruits of his labor. Number of times Alex has sung “Hey There Delilah” to his second grade crush? I don’t know man why would you even ask that? Now you know who this jokester really is: just a boy with a lil bit of that good good T spirit. Fight on everybody!
MADDI MORAN
est. 2021
At a young age, Maddi knew she wanted to be a lawyer… but when she found out that was too impractical, she decided to go a more realistic approach: sketch comedy. Unfortunately, she had to split genes with her twin brother, so she’s about 1/2 as funny as she could be (thanks Alex). But what she lacks in potential she makes up for in spirit. Maddi owns way too many overalls (three pairs to be exact), but has finally upgraded her outfits to Suspenders!!
JT WAUGH
est. 2021
jt. jt #2. JUNIOR. jota te. jon taylor. whatever you may call him, loves ramen, burritos, mint gum and that amazing feeling when you laugh so hard you choke on air and pee yourself a little.
oh…and michael bublé’s christmas album!
IZZY STER
est. 2021
Izzy Ster is a writer for the Suspenders, even though she exclusively communicates with shark Animojis. She is overly dependent on Trader Joe’s employee validation and caffeine (in that order). In her free time, she can often be found staring at ceilings/contemplating her existence, eating fruit snacks, and reading classical literature (e.g., Harry Potter for the 11th time).
VINCENT DEMONTE
est. 2021
Vincent. A man of many of many talents that will always make you leave with a smile.
JOSH WOLK
est. 2021
Josh used to be an avid reader. He thinks about this a lot.
LEXA ORNES
est. 2022
Alexandra is addicted to Dr. Pepper! That’s not a joke! It’s crippling and it has ripped apart her family! She lost her children in the custody battle because of it!
PHINEAS KELLY
est. 2022
Please, whatever you do, don't let this man near a carousel! Unspeakable horrors will be unleashed!! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?!? THIS ISN'T A JOKE!! HE MUST NOT BE ALLOWED TO R–
BILL ROCKAS
est. 2022
Bill Rockas is a reliable and innovative character with an excellent Blue Book value. He's equipped with four-wheel drive, blind spot sensors, and even a DVD player for the kids! Discover your next horizon with Bill.
DAISY NOH
est. 2022
You know that pun you just thought of using Daisy's last name? Don't say it. You're not original, and she's definitely heard it before. I guess you could say Noh-thing could surprise her at this point.