Maya has no relation to the zodiac killer…Yet.
Xavier Valdez is, in fact, a boy who can do both. He's not quite sure what "both" are, but he assures you he CAN do them, and will do them at a level of quality you find at least mildly adequate.
Asher is watching you read this right now. Look up. Did I get you? I’m not watching you read my bio right now that would be insane… Or am I? Anyways Asher Wolf is an omniscient being who has ascended from the astral realm. One thing Asher loves is a baked potato. Bring a baked potato to any of Asher’s show and they’ll be so ecstatic. Do it. You won’t look like a total idiot I swear.
Alex’s favorite after school hobby? Building a better community. Alex’s favorite snack? The fruits of his labor. Number of times Alex has sung “Hey There Delilah” to his second grade crush? I don’t know man why would you even ask that? Now you know who this jokester really is: just a boy with a lil bit of that good good T spirit. Fight on everybody!
At a young age, Maddi knew she wanted to be a lawyer… but when she found out that was too impractical, she decided to go a more realistic approach: sketch comedy. Unfortunately, she had to split genes with her twin brother, so she’s about 1/2 as funny as she could be (thanks Alex). But what she lacks in potential she makes up for in spirit. Maddi owns way too many overalls (three pairs to be exact), but has finally upgraded her outfits to Suspenders!!
The first time JT ever pumped gas in his car, he pulled the knosle out without pulling the lever and sprayed gas all over the gas station. He then cried.
Izzy Ster, a writer for the Suspenders, was once a pleasure to have in class. She thinks about this often.
Fresh out the OC, Vincent Demonte thought that comedy would be a great back up option from being a news reporter. Clearly he has his priorities out of wack. Just whatever you do don mention Orange County. Trust us you don't want to know what happens.
Alexandra is addicted to Dr. Pepper! That’s not a joke! It’s crippling and it has ripped apart her family! She lost her children in the custody battle because of it!
Please, whatever you do, don't let this man near a carousel! Unspeakable horrors will be unleashed!! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?!? THIS ISN'T A JOKE!! HE MUST NOT BE ALLOWED TO R–
Bill Rockas is a reliable and innovative character with an excellent Blue Book value. He's equipped with four-wheel drive, blind spot sensors, and even a DVD player for the kids! Discover your next horizon with Bill.
You know that pun you just thought of using Daisy's last name? Don't say it. You're not original, and she's definitely heard it before. I guess you could say Noh-thing could surprise her at this point.
Sure, Finn Rollings likes long walks on the beach, piña coladas, and buying decorations for an aquarium he does not own, but his real passion is writing about himself in the third person.
Allison is not only a performer for the Suspenders, but she is a long jorts enthusiast, long time practicer of impersonating Jennifer Coolidge and Madagascar’s cult classic Mort, and masters eyebrow wiggling to eventually compete at the collegiate level.
Zach! He really likes fart jokes!!!
FRANKIE ALVAREZ LORA
Frankie loves sketch comedy. He also loves doing back flips! Oh you want him to do one right now? Sure, here he goes. Oh my god, he completely missed the landing. He wasn't even close what was he thinking? He won't wake up oh god this is so bad, he looks so fragile and broken. Are you just gonna stand there? This poor boy just snapped his neck trying to impress you and you won't even stop to help? Monster.
Ella is strikingly attractive, intelligent, hysterical, and humble. She spends lots of time thinking about what it would be like if she were a puppet. If her creative career doesn't work out she will become a cheesemonger or the eclectic Jewish wife of an SNL comedian.
If you see Claire Renschler around campus, don’t say hi. She is blasting Silver Springs picturing one of the two exes she still talks to. Yes… she’s working on that. And no… they’ll never get away from the sound of a woman that loves them.
Paige Speaker is so excited to be joining the Suspenders as a producer! As anyone who has ever worked a show with her will tell you, she has an unhealthy obsession with Just Dance (but the pirated versions on youtube because who can afford the real thing). No but seriously, how many dances can one girl memorize?!