Born at a young age, JT Garcia spent the early years of his life being indoctrinated into the cult of Texas. Once he realized he was too short to be in the NBA, he decided to dedicate his life to the artistic study and relentless pursuit of acting. He somehow ended up in a College Sketch Comedy troupe instead. His greatest fear is being cast in an erectile disfunction ad, and his greatest dream is being cast as the guy who just can’t seem to clean the kitchen without making a mess in an informercial. He would like to thank his parents for making him better looking than his older brother. He hopes you come see the shows, follows the Suspenders on Instagram and Tik Tok, and hopes he is remembered for always walking that fine line between funny and pitiful. XOXO, Gossip Garcia.
In love with Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron BUT NOT IN A WEIRD WAY.
Alex is an Australian with a heart of gold searching for that big break in the city of Angels. The road has been tough but Alex is gonna persevere through the help of his friends and animal sidekick, a bonobo named Susan. Once Alex almost let the success get to his head. He became lost in the ritz and glamour of fame, and almost risked alienating himself from his friends and Susan. But luckily he was able to rediscover that young Aussie boy with a dream and stay true to who he is. This conflict came to a head when Alex abandoned the techno-pop image his label had forced onto him and delivered an original acoustic rendition of his hit single to the stadium audience. A clear symbol that he hasn’t lost sight of who he is. God bless America.
Adele is the pride and joy of the Suspenders. She is the bestest. No, Adele did not write this. This was written by the other members who just adore Adele so much they had to put into words here. Please don’t take this down.
Clare purchased 25 pounds of beans today...How many did you purchase?
Maya Gardner is your totally normal college kid! Nothing weird about her! She is not a part of the Witness Protection Program! She definitely doesn’t have ties to prolific mafia groups that were NOT involved in the disappearance of your great grandfather! She is not several lizards in a skin suit! None of these things are true! Please stop saying them about her!
Nia’s only personality traits include being from DC, unironically listening to Unwritten in the rain, and giving elaborate house tours
Rae is not afraid of bees. She is allergic, but like, if she dies she dies you know?
Oh hey, didn’t see you there! Trevor VanAuken is a Texan who loves long walks on the beach. He’s a first grade teacher on weekend mornings and a velociraptor enthusiast at night. On occasion he lends his silky baritone voice to the Trojan Men A Cappella group. As a kid he planned on making a career out of Minecraft streaming but decided to invest in his practical backup plan of sketch comedy! That’s where the REAL money is, Trevor said.
Xavier Valdez is, in fact, a boy who can do both. He's not quite sure what "both" are, but he assures you he CAN do them, and will do them at a level of quality you find at least mildly adequate.
Is investing his tuition money into DogeCoin
Alex’s favorite after school hobby? Building a better community. Alex’s favorite snack? The fruits of his labor. Number of times Alex has sung “Hey There Delilah” to his second grade crush? I don’t know man why would you even ask that? Now you know who this jokester really is: just a boy with a lil bit of that good good T spirit. Fight on everybody!
At a young age, Maddi knew she wanted to be a lawyer… but when she found out that was too impractical, she decided to go a more realistic approach: sketch comedy. Unfortunately, she had to split genes with her twin brother, so she’s about 1/2 as funny as she could be (thanks Alex). But what she lacks in potential she makes up for in spirit. Maddi owns way too many overalls (three pairs to be exact), but has finally upgraded her outfits to Suspenders!!
jt. jt #2. JUNIOR. jota te. jon taylor. whatever you may call him, loves ramen, burritos, mint gum and that amazing feeling when you laugh so hard it looks like you just got botox and are chocking on air.
oh…and michael bublé’s christmas album!
peace out bae’s.
Izzy Ster is a writer for the Suspenders, even though she exclusively communicates with shark Animojis. She is overly dependent on Trader Joe’s employee validation and caffeine (in that order). In her free time, she can often be found staring at ceilings/contemplating her existence, eating fruit snacks, and reading classical literature (e.g., Harry Potter for the 11th time).
Vincent. A man of many of many talents that will always make you leave with a smile.
Josh used to be an avid reader. He thinks about this a lot.
Alexandra is addicted to Dr. Pepper! That’s not a joke! It’s crippling and it has ripped apart her family! She lost her children in the custody battle because of it!